So Saturday night worship in billings was amazing. They sang the bridge to the Lifehouse song Everything. "you're all I want, you're all I need, you're everything, you're everything" are the words and while everyone around me was singing that my cry was "I want you to be all I want, I want you to be all I need, my everything. But I don't know how."
I don't. I don't know what that means for me. When I have quite times or read the bible my mind is always in a million different places. When I'm worshiping my mind is in the moment but its also being pulled thinking about work, or what the definition of the words really are or I wonder what the idea for this song was. I think about my future and I want to be in Gods will, but I just kinda ask for him to open and shut doors and then move forward trusting that God will put a neon sign on what's right and what's wrong.
I dunno if being at the Honor Academy has given me a false idea of what it looks like to have God be all you want and all you need.I dunno If I see different parts of the Body and think that's what all of our relationships with Jesus should look like, not needing food or money or a job or family just needing to be in the word all the time. Or if for me Him being all I want and all I need is in my everyday administrative get things done mind I glorify God in everything. If its OK that my mind is in a million places if I'm spending time with Him. If intimacy with him for me looks like one hand in the air and one hand on the 'go' button on my console. Am I not giving Him all of me because I can't make my mind focus on just spending time with Him?
Saturday night after worship a kid came up to me and said that he feels like The Lord had a word for me...(Paraphrase) "Stop trying to be perfect, take off the mask, give me all of you. I won't stop pursuing you."
I don't know what that means.
I don't know what that looks like.
But I want to.
Two years at the honor academy and I still don't have the hang of "this God thing"... I'm still learning :)
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Doing it all again!
It's official...
I've committed to doing the ATF tour all over again! :) Next year the theme will be Relentless Pursuit.
This past year has been SUCH a great year! I've had so many wonderful opportunities and adventures! I went Hiking in California, to a corn maze in Ohio, walking through NYC and lived on a bus for 10 months getting to minister to THOUSANDS of teenagers and young adults each weekend... Just to name a few of the great things about tour! And not to mention I LOVE production and touring and I experienced all of that!
I've been doing a lot of thinking about the future and what I want to do. And I know that I want to do production but I don't know at what scale. Pray with me that the Lord will show me His will for my life. I want so much! I desire so much. I just want to be lead by the spirit and not by my flesh. I like to work hard but I don't want to make things happen I want to work towards the things God has for me!
What are some dreams and desires you have? How can I be praying for you in these?
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